Now I've been using this new desktop for a while. It has this humongous harddisk that I feel guilty not utilizing it. I digged out my old mobile harddrive (actually it has never been mobile except the only time when I moved from Minneapolis to New Haven), and started to transfer my archived files to my desktop (which I call "active terminal" - you know how your old computers got "deactivated " in its case every time you buy a new one) so I can actually listen to some songs I liked before, look at some photos I've taken for years, and watch the few "independent movies" I have ever produced/directed/performed in my life with my lovely friends. And you know what, this experience is just phenomenal.

 

I was watching the flash animation gallery I created for the college graduation gala using people's own college-life photos and I was all laughing out loud; I was watching the message board video created by EC with his favorite super-sad violin concerto as background music (boy, that really made people all in tears at the gala), but I was more inspired than feeling sad this time. Among all those bold guesses, determined promises, beautiful wishes and firm claims of eternal friendship and love, how many are still miraculously standing and how many are mercilessly shatterred by fate? We had never known the destination, but we were hopeful at all time. We knew that's called "youth", but we probably didn't know it was as short.

 

Then I was watching our biggest production, the Tarot Temptation, the 30' film, its trailer, and the outtakes. How amazing! Memories just floated up and automatically connected into a real film playing in front of my eyes: the days when we were running around Beijing taking scenes, the nights when we filmed until 3 o'clock in the morning and used desk lamp for lighting, the suits we brought for the actors to make them look "more mature and professional", and the skirts to make the actresses sexier, and, of course, my awkward six takes of a single-line scene because of the person sitting by me (sorry, this is an inside story and may not be funny to everyone).

 

Yes, yes, I know that we should explore the future with the greatest aspiration rather than to immerse ourselves in the past memory. But, when we are all heading forward, is it THAT bad to pause once in a while and do a safety check to see if we have lost something precious? Running a car without safety check may give you a damaged engine, but running your life without safety check will get back to you in a much worse form. We might have been irresponsible when we were young, but do you think a person whose life consists of obsessive pursuit of wealth, fame and perhaps, sex, should be called responsible?

 

Tarot's temptation is always there. Is it your choice, or destiny?

又睡过了。。。接到DEBBIE的电话已经是中午，想着中国的大家估计都睡得差不多了，也没好意思打电话祝福大家跨年。只好在这里写上一句了，祝大家都新年快乐啊！新年要有新气象！加油。